I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
