addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
