Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
