My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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