first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
