so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
