It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
