Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
