i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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