fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
