I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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