I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
