Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
