At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
