Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
