i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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