video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
