Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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