had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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