He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
