Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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