Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
