Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
