then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
