Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
