I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
