whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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