I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
