I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
