is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How does it feel to date your dad?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
