just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So vagazzling was a success
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
