Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
