Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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