i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
