the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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