oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
