he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
