God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
