why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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