Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
