i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
