Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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