I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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