Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
