Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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