How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
