we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
