I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
