Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
