Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
