Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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