Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
